Feature Article
Little Guy – Big Wheels. Dante Hall’s in the House
The WatchDog
Staff Writer
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that poor strategies and mis-management can ruin even the most gifted athletes chances in the big leagues as fast as a bad big-mac habit ruins the hiney of a hot brunette who’s not exactly 23 anymore.
Being a member the Kansas City Chiefs marquee players list can be hazardous to your health. It must at times make one feel like he’s a bad-ass, built-to-the-hilt muscle car in the hands of a 17 year-old kid with a lead-foot.
Just ask Larry Johnson how many miles he has on his personal odometer through only four mule-like seasons carrying the load for the Chiefs. I bet if his knees had a face, it would more resemble that of a forty-something year-old crack-whore.
Maybe Whitney Houston?
From the Rams front office all the way through to Coach Linney, there must be a radiating feeling of warmth and reward coupled with tinges of Christmas morning type giddiness for their rescue of another potential victim of the Bedrock-style grindstone that is the Chiefs offensive shot-caller.
Dante Hall has been, over his six NFL seasons one of the most electrifying and dynamic play-makers the game has ever seen. During his peak year in 2003, he made moves and did things that seemed freakishly inhuman. He zig-zagged and changed directions so fast that he left defenders hugging each other when they thought they had him in their grasp. He did monster-sized things on the football field despite having the relative physical stature of a hobbit and every fan loved him while every opposing team feared him.
And the Chiefs lost their arrow-headed minds.
Close your eyes for a minute, can’t you just hear them plotting it all out?
“Gee fellas, look at this kid, I don’t think there’s any way in the world to stop him.” The slober ran down his chin as Coach sat with a grin-fixated stare at the game film, but he didn’t care … none of them cared.
“Well if he’s that fast, let’s line him in the slot and inflict joy-stick man on the passing game. And if he’s that good, let’s use him as a rusher – on double-reverses! Fleeee flickers!”
Poor guy.
Nice going Chiefs. Way to make a twenty-something year-old phenom feel thirty-something.
But all that is over now, and the Gods of Ram-dom have smiled on Mr. Hall and all of us as well. It’s not like Dante is an old man by any standards – he’s only 28. And it’s not like he’s a three-hundred pound man with gravity pulling him down at an alarming rate – he’s only a buck eighty-something. He’s been quiet lately but who wouldn’t be exhausted in that role they had him in.
Being admittedly an emotional player, Hall uses his inspiration to achieve his goals on the field, and by all accounts he’s pumped and ready to join what could turn out to be the most explosive and surprising team the Rams have ever fielded. And I’m looking forward to seeing him dig out that not-so-old play-maker with the instincts of a cat and the quickness to match. I can’t wait to see him on the field in a magic Ram hat and a new twinkle in his eye.
Even if he does look like a human Pez dispenser with his helmet on.
GO RAMS !!!
